Well… holy crap. I log in to kaneva today and I have ten messges and THIRTEEN friend requests. I am officially freakin awesome. Thanks everyone. Hahaha I’m so popular! Woot! Yeah… I haven’t added a blog entry for a while… and I felt that this was important to say, so… yeah. I rock!

*crying harder than EVER* you are never gonna talk to me and that’s fine I don’t deserve your aknowlegement im so sorry for everything ive ever put you through I hope you find some one who will take better care of you you were the better part of those two years of my life

Im leaving for good this time I love you but I don’t see where this relationship is going. Im just as you said I have NO clue what I want. Im worse than mike for god sakes. You should have gave up on me the second time that way I wouldn’t have hurt you ore than twice. So ya go ahead and tell all your friends how fubar I m cause you have the right to.

Maybe one day we will run into eachother and youll be ok and happly married with kids and ill be alone and see the pain I caused in your eyes and kill my self the next day….idk what will happen.

You will never know what you mean to me. This makes no sence I know but you were y first in many ways. My first REAL love, my first sex partner, my first gf AND friend, the list goes on.

Well this is good bye I guess

Ok, let’s get this straight. I am 4’11’’ and I weigh 100 lbs. I am a tiny person. Seriously, I eat a lot (more than most of my guy friends) and I continuously have people coming up to me and asking if I eat, and am I anorexic. No, I am not, for the last time people! Why is it if someone who does have issues (say, a female who’s like, 5’8’’ and weighs as much as me probably a little less) no one asks her if she’s ok, they just say ‘oh, she must have a fast metabolism.’ And to me, who has every right to weigh that little, they constantly badger me about eating. People at work see me eating constantly (it’s what I do all day at my computer) and they still ask why I don’t eat, do I go and throw up when I go on my lunch break, etc. etc. I think everyone should pay attention to who really has the problem, and not someone who doesn’t but since I wear size 0 jeans, I’m automatically anorexic?

So, as soon as I left work on Friday, I went to a play at the high school I graduated from in May. I hadn't gone back there, and this was my first time meeting with my 'family' <-- drama kids, I love them! so, I was there talking with people who graduated with me, and up walks 3mo_kid (finally, he took forever to get there) and we sit and watch a play and when the lights go out, he kisses me. I was like, what the hell? Then he told me he did want to be with me again, but he couldn't ask because it wouldn't be fair to me because he didn't want to hurt me again. So, I told him not to ask then, and I would leave. But, he did ask, and I told him this was his last chance, and if he left me again (he's done it 4 times already) then I wasn't even going to talk to him because I would be done with the girlfriend AND friend thing with him. So, I’m with the person I love more than anything! Our two year anniversary would be on Friday (October 13th), so hopefully we’ll last until then. Be happy for me everyone!