Starless Night

There were no stars out last night
the midnight air was painted black
the moon hid behind the clouds
like a shy stepchild waiting to shine
There I stood
under the orange glow of a streetlight
tapping out some old tune
with the sole of my foot
I wanted for you to greet me
and offer your embrace
But you did not come my sweet
never showed your alluring eyes
in the orange glow
under they shy moon
hidden in blackened sky
With a glance at my watch
I saw it was time
and with a heavy heart, I walked away
But don't worry my dear
as I disappear into the nighttime fog
I'll be here again the next night
and the next
hoping against hope to see your face
Because love is about waiting
waiting for the fires to burn
So I'll see you another night my love
I'll be tapping that tune
under the orange streetlight
beneath the shy moon
hidden in the blackened sky.
I'll be waiting there for you...

Every Night

Every night I lay there
alone in the darkness
etching into the wall
some magical symbol
ripped from ancient lore
It's a spell of love
and a curse of fate
Because it's fate my love
that made this bed cold
and my arms so empty
the hands that trace this symbol
into this wall shrouded in the darkness
should be strumming your hair
and pulling you tight
but not tonight my dear
nor the next so it seems
Because the spell I cast
upon this damnable wall
will not see light of day
until another night
another night like this
in which I can hold you close
and whisper softly to you
the words that I want to say
and the words that you want to hear

Ivory Tower

Oh it's easy for you my friend
So damn easy
To sit upon your ivory tower
And spew forth the black venom
Of hate and malcontent
To sit upon your archer's rest
And fire your wretched arrows
Into the backs of those who toil below
It's easy when you're safe
So well protected
Hidden by a shield of reservation
Molded in the fires of ignorance
It's almost cute to watch you
To watch you play barbarian king
Like a child you are
Simple, impulsive, immature
Just another thief
A playground bully
Stealing the lunch money
From those who can't afford a meal
And stripping the honor
From those who have none
It's easy to destroy good sir
But the task at hand is to create
But the only thing new your bring
Is a tin crown
That you place upon your head
It's power bought
From a bubble-gum machine
And melted
In the simple light of truth

Twilight

There is a magical time
When the stars are out
But the sun has not yet dropped
Below the treetops afar
When the sky is a crystal blue
And a million shades of black
It's when the streetlights come on
With a dull hum and flicker
It's when the children run inside
And the spirits begin to rise
It's the time the earth and I are one
As kindred as brothers
Two souls caught between two worlds
Fighting to simply stay in limbo
Because while the stars dot my sky
My sun still burns strong
Forever caught in transition
Seeking to defy identity
We hold on to our halves
And let them make our whole
A whole written in fading colors
That form a twilight
That is unlike any other
A twilight that never ends
And is as unique as the shades themselves

The End of The World

The world ended last night
so we went to the roof of the building
to watch it all unfold
Underneath a fire-lit sky
we unfolded a blanket
and set out our food
as demons devoured children
we devoured our chicken salad
as the seas boiled and cities burned
we sipped our lemon tea
and fed each other finger food
Though we couldn't hear a word
over the screams of bloody murder
we held hands and kissed softly
as we took it all in
Nero would have been proud of us
and our picnic in the sky
but as I watch my world burn and rot
not a tear shall fill my eye

Embrace

I love the night
how the shadows fall all around
forming a cocoon about us
that cloaks the world in darkness
But there we lie
as lovers lie
holding one another tight
It's a small pocket of happiness
in a world so wracked with pain
It's one small place where love still grows
in the boundless garden of hate
So as we drift into our dreams
and listen as our heartbeats become one
we each bask in our warming glow
and leave the cold world to die

Lovers' Pose

We came into life this way
bare to the world
our legs neatly folded
arching up toward our chest
with our back slumped
as if to greet our knees
but never quite touching.
We then grow older
we learn to walk
and talk
but every night
we return there to sleep
slipping into the dreamworld
with the same pose
we came into this one.
The years go by
and we grow up
but nothing changes
save the addition of another
the other half of our soul
the one who was already there
at least in our hearts
for those first precious moments.
There we lie, fitting shape and form
slipping back into the world we knew
we only knew
as children.
Nature was kind enough
to bring me into the world this way.
Now, with arms entangled
and bodies close
I dare to ask nature
to be kind enough to please
please
let me die this way.

Unbroken Hearts

How do you expect me to cry for you
just because we’re saying goodbye
Yes, it hurts for me to lose you
and I’ll miss you until the day I die
But now that the truth has been spoken
I know my heart can’t be broken
Because this is a sign from above
that I have not yet learned how to love

I hope you will wipe away your tears
and see that this is for the best
I know with time you’ll slay your fears
and move onward with your quest
But please leave not a word unspoken
for I know your heart can’t be broken
Because you can’t break a wounded dove
and your heart has not yet learned how to love

I know that time will heal our scars
and soon we’ll leave this hellish place
But I’ve lost the heart to chase this star
and I must break this net of lace
But before I leave, take this token
and know that our hearts can not be broken
Because I know what we are made of
and we have not yet learned how to love

Reflections

It was the end of everything
For both you and I
The world that we knew
Was now set to die
But since that world brought me
Nothing but pain
I could care less that it
Will never be the same
But somehow that didn’t stop me
From cling to fears
Even as the day of ending
Is drawing near
So what’s a man like me supposed
To do tonight?
When everything in the world
Just seems to right
I can hear the whispers come from
The past again
Everything we have I just never
Want it to end
I know that I must be brave
For my own fate
Because I know that love will never
Just sit and wait
While I sit here in the dark
And begin to pray
Wishing to the stars above
That my love will stay
I know that if I just
Keep all my faith
That our love will never
Start to dissipate
But it’s hard to remain
So solid and true
When the past begins to
Sneak up on you
But when the stars come out
For the night
My love for you will burn
Just as bright
Because there’s not much
That I can do
When there’s only one thing
I know that’s true
And that is as long as lovers
Hold their heads up high
That the fire that burns for you
Will never die

Charming the Devil

I hooked you with a single stare
It was over before it began
Like fallen pray you were lying there
Holding death within your hand
You had a void and I touched you there
With the ease I rubbed my hand
There was a devil in your despair
A devil at my command
What I brought, you were unaware
That it was the best you had to give
But all you took from our affair
Are the fears you must relive
But don't forget in your prayers
That all I did was make you bare
And to place the blame for your scare
It's in the mirror you must stare
Because I can not bring to open air
What already isn't there

Destruction

We’re punching doors
and stoning all the walls
We’re breaking down the barriers
and burning our world to ashes
This kind of rage
just comes too easily
what’s another act of violence anyhow?
We’ll watch it on the news
with popcorn at our side
It doesn’t matter anymore
we’re all stuck inside our cage
hurling bricks through windows
in some sort of protest
against our invisible enemy
everyone is discriminated against
and no one sees justice anymore
What can come from this world
as we set it ablaze?
Can we hope to achieve anything
when nothing but our total destruction
will come close to filling our desires
As I gaze into my crystal bullet
and see the future as it is
there’s nothing but black ashes
where our buildings once stood
and dark black circles
where our souls once rested

Black Magic

On a starless night
so many years ago
you pulled me deep inside
with a single kiss.
I was just a child
still frightened by the dark
hiding in a corner
nursing a wounded heart

I was broken
and so pathetic
just a willing victim
for your black magic

You walked away
and left me there to die
with my heart still beating
and my blood still boiling.
I wiped away the tears
and grew strong inside.
Now I stand here ready
to face you again

So throw it my way
hit me with everything
I’m not frightened
by black magic

When this battle’s done
I’ll hold my head up high
as the conqueror standing proud
over his fallen foe.
You could never
hold a candle to me
and as you run away
maybe you’ll see.

I’m the new master
of your witchcraft
and I’m stronger
than your black magic

Contempt

When every song on the record
is known all too well
When every note is just the one before the next
and every line just something to remember
When every high and low are etched into our minds
and their transitions too easy to predict
When every chord is heard first inside our skulls
and every bar just senseless repetition
That's when we reach for something new

When every word in the book
has been read a dozen times before
when every sentence is but a string of words
and every word a string of letters
When the pages are too torn to turn
and the images dulled by familiarity
And when the plot twists cease to amaze
and even feel like old friends
That's when we close the book

When every day is like the past
and every morning is riddled with deja vu
When everything is on automatic
and at night we can't remember a thing
When every cup of coffee feels the same
and every conversation played a dozen times before
And when every good knight kiss fails to comfort
and every "I love you" just another ritual
That when there's Hell to pay

A Price Too High

What's the point of it all?
What makes it all worthwhile?
I've lost everything to this
My life, my home and now my art
I simply have nothing left to give
Because while you comfort
You also take away
And while you create
You also destroy
I never planned on this
Straddling the while line
Between love and hate
I need your smile
And your comforting hand
I need your love
And you next to me at night
But I need myself as well my love
I need to be who I am
Because without myself I am no one
And if I am no one, then we are nothing
You've given me more than I can return
I could never count the smiles
Or all the memories you've brought me
But I can count the pains
And there's but one
The pain you created
When you took my soul
Your share in this package deal
But I can pay you no more my dear
Because now the price is just too high
Even a lifetime of happiness isn't worth this
Losing and forgetting who I am
Because even though I'd never be alone
You'd be sleeping with a corpse at night

Shattered Memories

I still see you there
every time I close my eyes
You’re lying on the ground
crying out in pain
I’ve never felt so helpless
as when I heard you sob
“Get a doctor,” I shouted
In hopes someone would hear
“She’ll be ok,” some old bitch spat
“She just fell down a coupla stairs.”
“Get a doctor, call the police,” I shouted back
But she kept on walking
As you were writhing in pain
I asked you if you were ok
and where did it hurt
You asked what happened
“You fell, you fell,” I said frantically
knowing you heard nothing
“Get a doctor,” I shouted, “Get help now!”
“The police are coming,” a homeless man said
“Ol’ Jeb’s gone ta get ‘em.”
I didn’t believe him
“Someone get an ambulance now!” I screamed
You tugged at my sleeve and I looked down
Your eyes were weak and distant as you asked
“Where am I?”
“Atlanta! Atlanta!” I said, “You’re in Atlanta!”
“How did I get to Atlanta?”
I wanted to say something to you,
but it would do no good.
“Where the hell are the police?” I shouted to the man.
“They comin’, they comin’” he said.
“There’s something on my face,” you said.
“What’s on my face?”
I tried to stay calm, “It’s snow my love, just snow.”
“But there’s no snow here.”
It was about then the police showed up
Ol’ Jeb must have got them
They began to ask you questions
questions you couldn’t answer
Age, name, etc.
“Where are you hurt?” they asked
You thought hard
“My head and my shoulder.”
I didn’t smile much
They radioed for an ambulance
that couldn’t make it through the snow
Suddenly you stood up
and nearly fell again
The three of us, the police and I
sat you down on the bottom step
as you winced in pain the entire time
“We have an ambulance coming,” I cooed
“Help is coming.”
“Why is there an ambulance coming?”
“Am I hurt?”
One of the officers leaned in
“Do you know where you are ma’am?”
The look in your eyes changed
a smile crept across your face
“I’m in Atlanta,” you replied.
I let out a silent cheer
and even the snow seemed to stop for a moment
“We visited my parents and were going home,” you continued
“Yes!” I cried out
Relief washed over me
and I began to calm down
“But I thought that was just a dream,” you said.
I tensed up.
I almost broke down and cried right then.
“No sweetie, it was real, it was all real.”
I didn’t get a moment to breathe
because the ambulance showed up
they too began to ask questions
Age, name, etc.
But this time you answered.
With every right answer, I restrained a cheer
When they were done, you looked at me
“So everything was real?” you asked.
“Yes, it was, everything was real
and now everything will be all right.”
I turned to gather our things
but you grabbed my sleeve again.
You pulled me close and whispered
“Don’t worry about me,” you said.
“I never forgot about you.

New Moon

There's a new moon out tonight
and it's the darkest night of the year
You can hear children crawling beneath their beds
and clutching their sheets in fear
while murmuring their prayers and hitting their lights
as they wait for the sun to appear

There's a new moon out tonight
and it's the coldest night I've seen
Lovers lay close by fires burning bright
slowly breathing in the soothing scene
as they smell the smoke from a thousand chimneys
and watch as they give the air a hint of filthy green

There's a new moon out tonight
and it's the quietest ever heard
No cars nor boots traverse the streets
as the night forever remains unstirred
with its perfect stillness only broken
by the silent flapping of shadowy birds

There's a new moon out tonight
and I can feel it call my name
Though it sits still and cold
it whispers all the same
calling me to walk the empty streets
perhaps to join her in a game

So though there's a new moon out tonight
it rests alone no more
It has me by its side
to share the things the night has in store
and it's there I'll walk in the chilling air
until my moon sinks below the floor
only to rise again another night
to call me out my door

Where Are You Now?

Sometimes I think of you
and wonder where you are
and if you think of me on lonely nights
or dream about me when there's nothing left to dream
I don't expect you to miss me
and I know the phone will never ring
with your voice hanging on the other line
but I have to know
if I'm in your thoughts
or if you forgot about me
like you promised you never would
I can't bear the thought
of what we shared
being nothing than a footnote
in a forgotten chapter of your life
and even though I only think of you
during the loneliest hours of the night
Part of me is still hoping
that you're thinking of me
when I'm busy not thinking of you
So shed not a tear for what we lost
nor heave a sigh for what could have been
Just let me grace your thoughts
when the night hangs long and low
and everything will be right when we awake
in the worlds we've created
in the many years we've been apart

In the Dark

There are times when I'm inconsolable
when the world around me becomes too much
and my demons come out to feast on me again
There are times when I'm hopeless
when I'm too lost to return home
and I don't need your comforting touch
I just need to be left alone to sit quietly in the dark

Don't offer me a friendly hand
nor a tender embrace of love
Just let me surround myself with shadows
and let my troubles eat me whole
Don't try to save me when I can't be saved
and keep your tender words for another day
a day when the tides of my heart have changed
and my soul flows the other way

But until that time remember that I love you
and that you're still the keeper of my heart
but for the moment love is not my friend
and your tender touch and sweetest smile
are like poison to my aching soul
So let me be
Let me sit alone in the dark
Let me find comfort in forgotten lusts
Let me bandage my heart with solitude
and dry my tears with time

I know that you understand
and I pray that you'll return
Because I long for when I can emerge from these shadows
and once again cherish the smile glistening
across your sweet, tender face

Outcast

Standing alone under an evening sky
watching the world spin around me
I see the faces of lost souls
dancing in the winds of change
and pouring through the sands of time

No one sees me standing there
Turning away when I don't dance to the beat
or march to the drums of a thousand fools
They pretend I'm not there
whispering about me as if I couldn't hear
just a piece of broken furniture
a part of the scenery
simply waiting to be thrown away

But there I stand
all alone to tomorrow
quietly challenging the song around me
by refusing to sing along
Instead watching as empty hearts walk along
looking past the invisible child
just standing there
waiting for the rain

And it's there I'll stand in a thousand years
long after the dance has carried the fools away
even after my body has given in to the grip of time
my place will remain unchanged

For I am the outcast
the one who refused the dance of a thousand fools
forced to suffer the wind and the rain
and stand transparent to the world around me
But the only one to remain
when the music stops and time marches on
grinding the dancers into dust
and scattering their memory to the winds of change

Though I'm left to an empty world
you'll never see sorrow in my eyes
I'll raise my glass with the other invisible souls
as we watch the last grains in hourglass of time
trickle through to the bottom
winding down the universe
letting us know our work is done
and that the ageless can now age no more

Safety

Psychiatrists tell us that, of all the human needs, the need for safety is the greatest. It is the need that concerns us before worry about anything else. Without safety, they say, we can not be happy, fulfilled or content.

But safety is an unusual need in that it is based almost entirely upon an illusion. As humans, we are blessed (and cursed) with the knowledge that death is inevitable and that it could happen at any time. At best, safety is relative, at worst it is nonexistent and just a figment of our overactive imaginations.

The simple truth is that we are never safe. Freak accidents, diseases and any number of other deadly incidents can take place at any given time. Even if we lock ourselves away in a metal room and remove all foreseeable hazards, death and injury can find us. Deep down we know that.

If true safety were a requirement of our happiness, humans would be driven mad in frenzied attempts to mitigate every possible hazard, knowing that it is all a futile effort. As long as our mortality can not be escaped, safety can not be achieved.

Yet, most people, feel safe when they sleep at night. Though literally anything can happen while they slumber, they rest assured that they will wake up the next morning in much the same condition that they went to bed.

Our minds, over the years, have trained themselves to ignore the millions of risks we face, responding only to the most immediate and probable dangers we face. Much of this is self preservation, enabling us to spend our energy on the things that are most likely to hurt us, but much of it is also self deception, allowing us to turn a blind eye to less visible risks.

This has resulted in a warped sense of safety. The dangers we face every day have become skewed and warped by a combination of convenience, media hype and misinformation. Whether the dangers are bad drivers, terrorists, heart disease or bird flu, we know we can't possibly protect against all of the hazards we face, so we focus on the ones that make us feel the most safe, not necessarily the ones that pose the greatest risk.

That is the crux of the safety problem. Since safety is an illusion, so are many of the dangers. What makes us feel safe is often very different from what actually improves our chances of survival. What helps us sleep at night is rarely what helps us wake up in the morning.

This need for safety has become our Achilles heel. Our mortality has become our mortal weakness. We know neither safety nor happiness so long as we give in to illusions of safety and of danger. We are never as safe as we feel we need to be, nor are we in as grave of danger as we often think we are.

These notions, however, are lost on us as safety is a feeling and it knows no intellect. There is no rationalizing with the idea of safety or the people that feel they do not have it. Once lost, the quest for the feeling of safety is all-consuming, usually overpowering better forms of judgment and pushing us down paths we would never otherwise take.

The time has come to breathe. To realize that, while this need for safety that drives us is a positive thing, it is no being used to drive us down paths we need not tread. Safety has never been anything but an illusion and that lack of grounding is used against us every day of our lives by our governments, our media, our businesses and even others on the street.

The truth is that safety comes from within. You can not buy it, you can not vote for it and there is no knowledge that mysteriously grants it. Safety comes from within ourselves and our loved ones. It's about a place in your room that makes you feel safe, about being warm in the arms of a loved one, about finding the one thing that reminds you of safer times.

Safety is an illusion and it is a necessary one. However, we have to stop looking outside of ourselves to find it. Any illusion the world can give us can also be found within. If we make our own illusions, we can use them to our advantage. If we let others make our illusions, they can use them to their advantage.

It takes inner strength to do this, to look within for answers that do not exist, But that strength is what it truly takes to feel safe in such a crazy world.