1. No double grapevines allowed -- ever.
2. The students are never responsible for screwing up a routine.
3. Instructors who only call out directions (and don't ever do them) lose credibility.
4. When exercising muscle groups, alternate with opposing groups. Otherwise, don't be surprised when the entire class can't do the same abs routine after 10 minutes.
5. Complicated routines should have a multiple-count recovery step while the routine is still novel to the students.
6. Do the routine you are calling.
7. In a multipart routine, call out the next step a few counts before it occurs. (Otherwise, you'll hear me exclaim "Call it!")
8. When working with weights, never perform full extensions at regular or double time, because of the risk of ballistic movement. Try either to work small extensions, or at half time.
9. What in hell does a pulse check establish? Has anybody ever done anything differently after one?
10. It is not necessary to explain all the parts of a 53-part routine. Just do it and explain as you go. Humans are rarely CNC machines.
11. Use a variety of music, not the same stuff every day. With repetitive music selections, the students should have the collective ability to will the tape or CD (or iPod) to destroy itself.
12. Never reproach or belittle a student for using an alternate step or routine, unless it infringes on another student's space. Conversely, for difficult routines, propose alternate steps that are simpler and equivalent.
13. Don't use workouts that cross space into other student's exercise area or share steps with others. This condition is too stressful if one person screws up and messes up another person's workout.
14. Never perform exercises as a mirror image. Always alter your perspective to the students' point of view.
15. Never make students call out the steps as a contingency to getting the routine right. That's what the instructor gets paid the big bucks to do.
16. Don't stop the class to instruct one person who may be having trouble. It puts too much of a spotlight on the person and deprives the rest of the class.
17. Try not to do routines or steps that aren't in sync with the music or the step itself. For example, doing a four-count step with a seven-count routine thrown halfway in. This is aerobics, not Broadway dance class.
18. Avoid routines that require rapid twisting or twirling. This is not ballet class, and after a few iterations the student will either be twisting leg parts or falling down dizzy.
19. Never "decide" to do a class that's not advertised, such as an hour of stretching instead of the high-energy aerobics that is advertised at this time slot. If you don't feel well, don't teach the class. You're not fooling anyone.
20. If you're doing a personal routine that you don't want the class to do, such as arranging your hair or bra, please disclose this to the class so they don't unnecessarily try to do the same moves.
21. (new!) If you ask who's new to the class, try to make use of the information. You are not trying to find virgins at The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

1. Their 'No tolerance' campaign has a 'No' symbol (red circle with line through it) over the words 'No tolerance', resulting in a double negative endorsing tolerance of prohibited actions. That in itself explains a lot of its employees' actions.
2. Although they've proven that they can stop their trains on a dime (as done during construction at Lindbergh station), they can't be consistent to save their lives anywhere else, stopping the train all over the station, causing people to bunch up on the first or last car.
3. The 'R' definitely doesn't mean rapid: Trains constantly stop on the tracks, instead of just progress slower to destinations.
4. Their operator station doors aren't secure and aren't deadbolted. Anyone could lean against the door and get to the operator, as I did once. Their countermeasure? The operator said: "There's a sign on the door telling you not to push on it."
5. They aren't trying to make money, just lose it. 
6. Ridecards are only purchasable at the beginning of the week/month, and are good only over a calendar week/month. Who in their right mind would purchase one if the week was already started? (Hint: Take a tip from the London Underground and make your cards good until a week/month/year after purchase.) (Update: Good news! The Breezecard to be introduced in September 2006 will allow weekly or monthly loading without being tied to the calendar.)
7. The new Breezecards aren't a breeze. Who tested out the interface? Why can't they hold more than one fare on them? Hell, even the Washington DC Metro has been doing this since 1975 with paper cards.
8. Police crawl the platform and sometimes the trains, but neglect to enforce the rules, even when hawkers and panhandlers harass the riders and pee on the train seats.
9. Bikes are the new Rosa Parks. At normal times, they're expected to go to the back of the train, even though some baggage areas are at the front of the train. When the train is full, they're expected to stay off, even though there are special areas for luggage and bikes. And if a passenger needs the space to stand or their luggage, bikes must scram.
10. Passengers stand in front of incoming train doors and wonder why people can't exit the train. Duh. Doesn't seem to happen on any other subway I've ridden.
    
11. (To replace #6) Trains are often mislabeled as to their destination. Especially true on weekends, when everyone's magically supposed to know that northbound trains transfer at Lindbergh station, and only there alternate between the Doraville and North Springs terminuses. I pity the tourist.

1. When witnessing someone else's misery, sympathize by bringing up an example of your good fortune. Try to make your example relate to the misery you're observing.
2. When inconveninenced by someone else's misery (such as a traffic jam caused by an accident), remember to complain how their trivialities are making you late for the hairdresser or golf game.
3. When you need to be rude to someone, or if the situation develops into your lack of consideration to others, first try very hard to ignore it happened, or feign misunderstanding. If that's not possible, give the other party a look of blame, possibly with a few words to that effect if it may improve the situation. It helps a lot if you have someone else you can converse with as an ally for your innocence.
4. If you transgress upon someone, such as run into their bicycle with your SUV, by all means go and assess their condition. If they are conscious, impress upon them that this event has ruined your day (note: this really happened). If they are unconscious and no one's around, attempt to extricate your vehicle from the scene with as little evidence as possible and quickly be on your way. If they are unconscious and there are others present, be certain that your view of innocence prevails by talking the witnesses into submission.
5. When in a conversation, be certain to either redirect the conversation to your chosen topic, or to initiate the conversation with something good about you. It needn't be obvious, for example, "How are you doing? Did you know I bought this great expensive dress today ..."
6. If you must engage in charity, make certain everyone knows it. Remember to treat the recipients of your unbounded generousity with the contempt they deserve.
7. If you must be a gracious host, remember to offer your guests lots of alcohol and remember their behaviors for conversations with others. If your guests refuse to misbehave, attempt to extricate embarassing or useful information from then in the altered state.
8. Should someone speak out of turn, that is, when you have not first spoken to them, practice your look that says "Shouldn't you just have shut up now, dearie?" Hold the stare for a sufficient amount of time so that the target and others in the vicinity realize your superiority.
9. If someone does you a favor or performs a good deed for you, be certain to make them realize what a privilege it has been for them to help you. Additionally, show them that you acknowledge their position in society by offering the appropriate amount of contempt or pity. For example, if a group of Boy Scouts relandscapes your yard, show appreciation by offering them the garden hose for refreshment. By no means touch the garden hose or turn on the water.
10. When others surprise you with news or events, always act relieved that it wasn't worse news. For example, if you good friend reports that she has incurable brain cancer, exclaim that you are relieved, because you thought she was going to tell you that she had purchased the new Martha Stewart bathroom towel collection before you had gotten a chance to purchase yours.

Disclaimer: All comments are opinion. I am not currently associated nor speak for any yuppies at the present time.