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MY POEMS

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KickinBack Waterfalls

Castle KickinBack

Now that I'm able to, I'll be using my Blogs widget for my poems. So, without further adieu, enjoy my poetry and please comment on them. Thanks =)

Jul 18, 2008
Lost

Everything around me is quickly falling apart,
And anything I’ve done hasn’t really mattered.
I’m loosing touch with the feelings in my heart,
And my world is just repeatedly getting battered.

No longer do all my hopes and dreams thrive,
Wearing thin with each and every sleepless night.
I struggle constantly just to keep myself alive,
Wanting these times to just fall away from sight.

With every waking morning I wonder what’s next,
Wishing for better yet always expecting the worse.
Thinking constantly that my life has been hexed,
And desiring nothing more than to break the curse.

I try to hold onto those dear and precious to me,
Not wanting to loose more than I have already.
Yet I find myself complexed and unable to see,
And barely able to manage to keep myself steady.

Doing things I shouldn’t in order to feel relieved,
And hurting the ones that matter to me most of all.
Focusing only upon that in which I firmly believed,
While doubting I’ve done wrong that I can recall.

Even though I try to put things in perspective,
And try to see things in a totally different way.
I still somehow loose sight of the real objective,
And my hopes of redemption wither and decay.

I really don’t even know who I truly am anymore,
Having lost track of what defines me as a person.
To complicate matters worse and further implore,
I no longer know the path that I have chosen.

Things seem fine when looking through the window,
Only judging what’s seen by what others might tell.
As a matter of fact it’s all just one extravagant show,
To make them all think that everything is swell.

I can’t seem to do right in order to move forward,
Dwindling on the wrongs I had so solemnly done.
I agonize over every single fault that is awkward,
While dwelling on the pain that has not yet begun.

Fading hope now lingering in the emptiness inside,
Uncertain of the circumstances that are my burdens.
Panic ridden debates of wondering how I can confide,
Are what drive me into making irrational decisions.

Hopes and dreams threaten to loose all meaning,
I feel lost without a chance to ever reconcile.
I wait for a life that I’ve always been imagining,
But the images continuously darken all the while.


		Details		4 Comments

Jun 7, 2008
You Don't Know Me

You think you can speak ill of me and strike my heart,
But your words just fall on nothing but closed ears.
You can try as you might to shred my world apart,
Trust me when I say there just aren’t enough years.

You think that you know me oh so very well,
But the reality is you don’t know me at all.
You think you have the right to run and tell,
All your cohorts rumors to make me feel small.

You don’t know as much about me as you may claim,
Yet you act as if you know exactly what I’m all about.
You pretend to be my friend and it’s a real shame,
That certain people attempt to rub my name out.

You may think you have the right to judge me,
But no God died just to make you our Lord.
You seem to think all that I am is what you see,
In a world inapt for such ignorance and discord.

You don’t even know what I’m really like,
Yet you imagine that you know who I truly am.
You fling petty words around as if you were a tyke,
And you honestly think that I could give a damn.

The truth of the matter is your jealousy is so deep,
And to make yourself look better you lie and deceive.
Your opinions don’t matter and I won't loose any sleep,
So if you don’t like me you can just piss off and leave.


		Details		1 Comments

Jun 5, 2008
My Dad

My father is so very strict and extremely mean,
He always made me feel like I couldn’t do right.
The rage in his eyes was surely a sight to be seen,
Whenever he yelled at us be it day or night.

A simple angry glance was all that it took,
And I’d know I was in trouble once more.
Knowing what it meant whenever I got that look,
I’d run to my room and loudly slam the door.

Awaiting my punishment for what I had done,
I’d eventually end up crying myself to sleep.
I’d find out later he sometimes did it just for fun,
Because he thought it was funny to make me weep.

I grew up hating him for things he’d done to me,
Making me feel like I was so very weak.
Just wanting him to go away and let me be,
Never to come back and make my life bleak.

As the years went by I came to an understanding,
That he wasn’t really trying to be mean at all.
Even though he could be so cruel and demanding,
He just didn’t want to see us grow up and fall.

Making our lives hell then just to better us for now,
He only wanted nothing more for us than the best.
To this very day he still lives up to that vow,
Giving us hopes and dreams in which to invest.

My respect for him now is far deeper and true,
And having him around really isn’t all that bad.
In this world fathers like him are very few,
I’m just proud and thankful I can call him dad.


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May 12, 2008
Lost Love

I thought I had met the woman of whom I‘ve always dreamed,
But too late did I realize that the love was a mere hoax.
I had fallen deep and hard for the one so it seemed,
And pushed away all the negative things people would coax.

I know I had loved her with all the attempts I did make,
Knowing she wouldn’t see them for what they truly meant.
Having no ideas of what other measures I could take,
To show the woman I loved my heart’s true intent.

I listened with my heart and had hoped for the best,
Willing and trying to do all that I could manage for her.
Yet nothing I had done could pass her inquisitive test,
Having failed time and again to prove that my love was sure.

I realize that I may have also been to blame for the tragedy,
Having done my share of wrong and hurtful deeds.
Any amount of apologizing were merely words so empty,
Loosing all face of valued meanings of solemn creeds.

She was dear to my heart and held it quite firmly,
Entrusting her with each and every single beat.
Empowered by thoughts of true feelings so sternly,
Only to discover it was all simply just a hopeless feat.

Now hurt and confused wondering why this had transpired,
Figuring out why this just had to happen this way.
Trying to make sense of it all is what is now desired,
And not letting the reality of it lead my thoughts astray.

To have loved and lost they say is better than nothing at all,
Remembering the times that were sweet and very sincere.
However the only thoughts that I really ever do recall,
Are the ones that I refused to see to make things more clear.

Now holding strong to the words of those who told me so,
In order to keep the now visible truth fully intact.
Still feeling so saddened by the heart-aching blow,
Just trying to maintain a happy and joyful act.


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May 5, 2008
Our Mother

Brought into this unfamiliar world one eventful day,
A whole new experience beckons our existence.
Such a young and innocent delicacy to display,
Rejoicing our new life with a heart of persistence.

One mere woman makes this new journey tolerable,
Keeping us safe from the fears that haunt us all.
Holding onto us tightly with a force that’s unbreakable,
Pulling us back upon our feet whenever we may fall.

In the shadows of a closing door we sense her there,
Watching over us as we drift off into slumber.
Filling our hearts with the warmth of loving care,
Protecting us from any dreams that may plunder.

Growing fonder of our lives with each passing year,
Seeking to wander the world on our very own.
No matter the distance between us she is always near,
Willing to share that loving embrace we’ve always known.

As time drifts onwards like a whisper in the wind,
We begin to acknowledge that which she has taught.
Knowing that she is with us until the bitter end,
Striving to give us the life for which she intensely fought.

Never growing tired of our faults or our mishaps,
Just thankful to the world that we are her child.
There for us always were our lives to collapse,
No matter how difficult or just simply mild.

She is the one who gave us life and dreams,
She’ll be there for us always like no other.
Despite how harsh or easy our life seems,
She will always and forever be our mother.


		Details		1 Comments

May 1, 2008
What do we want?

What is it that we really want in this world?
A myriad amount of thoughts come to mind.
Do we want love, money, happiness, and peace?
A combination of those elements is so hard to find.

Do we seek comfort in knowing that we are safe?
What one calls sanctuary others call deprivation.
Do we hope and dream of a better day soon rising?
Peace is what it is, just a mere hopelessness compilation.

Do we want that everlasting love that never dies?
To always feel desired no matter the consequence.
Do we seek the truth in knowing what is real?
Figuring out pure happiness simply makes no sense.

Do we want material objects to match our apparel?
A cellular device or musical machine better than any.
Do we want the power of fortune to buy our lives?
Greedily clinging tightly to every single penny.

What is it that we truly ever really desire?
Wanting and aching to have all that we can get.
How do we come about retrieving our passions?
Hurting those we love and those we’ve never met.

So how do we go about our numbered daily lives?
Striving and reaching out for everything simultaneously.
How do we go about living in this ever-chancing word?
Waking up each morning to a whole new reality.

Why do we wonder about what’s passed and to come?
Dedicated to the ominous scenario that we seek.
What is it we really want to know so intensely?
Unable to alter the things that make our lives meek.

So should I ask this question just once more?
Pondering and making the intension more clear.
What is it that we really want in this world?
Knowledge of knowing the truth may end all fear.


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Apr 21, 2008
Dedication to Trixie

When someone touches your life so soundly,
And you barely even know who they are.
You connect with them so profoundly,
That your life lights up like a brilliant star.

You gradually let them into your life,
Knowing that someday you’ll become allies.
Your worries of a prolonged strife,
Fade away as quickly as a puddle dries.

You cherish each moment like it was the last,
No matter how little the span of time.
Smiling with every word they may blast,
You let each word strike you like a chime.

Caring so much for someone you hardly know,
Not knowing why this person came to you.
Just hearing from them makes your heart glow,
Realizing that it’s just what they do.

Suddenly without warning they’ve gone away,
Taking with them a piece of your memory.
You awaken to the news on a weary day,
Now holding tight to past moments of harmony.

Taken away to a much better place,
Knowing that they’re much happier now.
You gaze in awe upon their delicate face,
Wanting to give more than you did allow.

Shedding tears in the waking moment,
Wishing you’d done more than you could.
Hoping the next days will be different,
Yet knowing that they never would.

You hear a voice from out of nowhere,
Telling you that all is fine and well.
Your heart lights up like they were there,
Their voice hits your ears like a bell.

Smiling and crying tears of great pleasure,
Now knowing that they are safe once more.
No longer will the long days measure,
A length of time you can not adore.

Holding onto fond memories like precious charms,
Knowing that you will someday meet.
They’re be waiting for you with open arms,
To once again make your life complete.


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Apr 14, 2008
Virtual Love

I need love and I need it now,
Doesn’t really matter who it’s from.
I just want my lonely heart to allow,
Any type of love that may come.

This guy’s a flirt and this girl lies,
Doesn’t matter cause they love me.
She’s too young and he always denies,
Who cares cause that’s not what I see.

I want to be loved like never before,
And to me anybody will do just fine.
I know in my heart the love will be more,
For they swore not to cross the wrong line.

I know I love her cause it’s in my heart,
The feelings can no longer be ignored.
I’ve always loved him right from the start,
My mind’s always had thoughts of him stored.

I see true love in our future I just know,
Cause I feel so weak when they’re around.
Some day our real love for each other will show,
Our beating hearts shall be the only sound.

This guy loves me I just know that he does,
I can see the look in his eyes every time.
This girl’s the only one for me that ever was,
She said that breaking my heart would be a crime.

I need love and I need it now,
Doesn’t really matter who it’s from.
I just want my lonely heart to allow,
Any type of love that may come.


		Details		5 Comments

Apr 5, 2008
Unable

To set free someone that you know you love,
But only in a true friendship kind of way.
It’s not as easy as you may be thinking of,
When you don’t want the friendship to go astray.

Letting go of that person you care so much about,
And forgetting all the happiness they brought.
Isn’t something that’s so easy to figure out,
When the things you’ve shared are a lot.

If a time ever comes that you’re asked to do such,
And letting go just isn’t an option for you.
Caring about that person so very much,
It just doesn’t seem like the right thing to do.

You know in your heart that you can’t let go,
Knowing that it’ll just shred all of your heart.
Yet the words they speak just seem to always flow,
Until confusion divides your thoughts apart.

You struggle to keep the friendship you share,
Refusing to let go of something so real.
Realizing it’s all about someone of whom you care,
You no longer know what it is you feel.

Anger and pain now build up deep inside,
Not wanting the best friend you have to leave.
You look for a place within yourself to hide,
Just because what’s happening you can’t believe.

One bad day after another it would seem,
Never ending the way you hoped they would.
The tears you shed do all but scream,
Wondering if you’ve done all that you could.

Lost in thought about what may come,
Blocking the thoughts of loosing your best friend.
So unwilling to let yourself succumb,
To the idea that this may very well be the end.


		Details		2 Comments

Apr 5, 2008
But Of Course

I have some problems I need to talk to you about,
But of course your problems are far worse than mine.
Come and listen to what I have to tell you,
But of course hearing you talk first will be just fine.

Can you help me out with this issue I’m having,
But of course only after we deal with yours first.
I’ve got something I’ve been wanting to say,
But of course you need to talk now before you burst.

This is an important matter I have on my mind,
But of course you just can’t wait to share yours now.
I really need to talk to you about all this,
But of course you can tell me what and how.

There’s this topic I need to share with you,
But of course you’ll go crazy if you don’t get it all out.
Want to hear what it is that I need to speak of,
But of course not until after you tell me what it’s all about.

I have something I’ve been needing to tell you,
But of course you can get something off your chest.
Listen to what I have to tell you about this,
But of course not until you can get your angry heart to rest.

There’s just something that’s really been bothering me,
But of course you’re in need of a shoulder on which to cry.
I have so much I want to tell you right away,
But of course you’re so hurt right now you just want to die.

Hear me out on these words that I must let flow,
But of course you need to share your heartache with me.
I feel like talking about something that’s in my thoughts,
But of course your words of pain must be set free.

God forbid I try to tell you what it is I‘ve been needing to,
But of course my concerns are not high enough in demand.
I have things that have been bothering me lately as well,
But of course your concerns must be dealt with before hand.


		Details		4 Comments

Apr 2, 2008
How Do You...

How do you tell someone you love them,
Yet not even be there to say it to their face?
How do you let someone know it's them you need,
Yet not even be there to give a loving embrace?

How do you tell someone that you care,
Without being there to let them know?
How do you give someone your heart,
Without opening it up to let it show?

How do you know what love really is,
But be unable to give it back?
How do you know what is real,
But be unable to see what you lack?

How do you let the words escape your mouth,
When you don‘t even know what to say?
How do you show the slightest expression,
When your eyes hide the truth away?

How do you know what actions to take,
Not knowing what has already been done?
How do you know where to go from here,
Not knowing which direction is the right one?

How do you continue to live in hope,
Wondering if the hope is even still there?
How do you continue to even move on,
Wondering if they even still care?

How do you be there for somebody,
And still not tell them what you‘re thinking of?
How do you utter such meaningful words,
And still not be there to give them all your love?


		Details		2 Comments

Mar 9, 2008
Never Enough

Life is full of many wonderful things,
Making it more tolerable for us to live.
Sometimes it seems to be so unfair,
That there's just not enough of ourselves to give.

What little we can manage to give of ourselves,
Just never seems to satisfy the receivers.
Because of all these unfulfilled desires,
We end up being labeled as petty deceivers.

Blamed for making things seem far worse,
Taking the heat for something we thought was fine.
The facts of the matters are always the same,
The small acts of kindness just aren't as divine.

Noted only for the things that we do wrong,
Going upraised for what we do right.
Just because we cannot always be there,
For everyone that's within our line of sight.

It never seems to matter what it is we want,
Because to want them would be a selfish act.
Being unable to give all of ourselves at once,
Is considered blasphemy for breaking a pact.

We do all that we can to try our best,
To be the person that we've come to be.
Not wanting to let go of what we have,
In order to keep what others may not see.

Unable to take the time for ourselves,
To make our own lives just a little more tough.
We now come to the endless conclusion,
That all that we give is just never enough.


		Details		2 Comments

Feb 29, 2008
Angel Of Despair

When an Angel finally finds you,
And she takes you for a ride.
She’s not at all much of an Angel,
When problems occur she runs to hide.

You think to yourself wondrous thoughts,
And believe the Angel speaks true.
But low and behold come to find out,
The Angel’s lies had bestowed you.

Now your trust in Angels withers away,
Your heart overflowing with deep rage.
You struggle to find a way to release,
The broken pieces from their cage.

An Angel has betrayed all your hopes,
And crushed what dreams you once had.
But looking back you begin to realize,
Perhaps it really isn’t all that bad.

Before the Angel had entered your life,
You remember the happiness without her.
To think the Angel was just a mere waste,
Of all your time and space for sure.

Letting the careless Angel go at last,
Her fidelity will hinder another man’s heart.
Now set free from all the awful burden,
That was only tearing all your desires apart.

Farewell to that which you never needed,
Good riddance to an Angel of pure despair.
Welcoming new happiness that now becomes,
Your Angel-less life you can now share.


		Details		5 Comments

Feb 6, 2008
Love And Hatred

In the heat of passion and the wrath of hatred,
There's only one thing that is ever realized.
To love for the moment or loathe for eternity,
Always seems to be somehow compromised.

Altered hearts and broken dreams,
Plaque the stillness of a ruptured heart.
While visions of hope and the sorrow of despair,
Torture our souls and tear worlds apart.

Bodies are weak from giving and taking,
Minds unattached from the bounds that hold them.
Striving to make complete sense of it all,
While we continue not to see on a whim.

Still we continue on like nothing is wrong,
Looking for excuses to let things go astray.
Hurting and loving despite our best efforts,
To let all the complete nonsense just go away.

A wrecked life hangs in the balance of it all,
Struggling to see nothing that's destined to come.
Hope merely lingering in the air like a beacon,
Only shining down upon the selected some.

This is what's felt when love and hate collide,
Causing us to panic in an uncontrollable fit.
Fighting and aching to lash out at all,
Bringing an unmannered rage along with it.

Say your piece and speak your mind,
Never allow yourself to be disemboweled.
Do unto others as they do unto you,
Stand up for what God has allowed.

When doing so remember just one final thing,
That love and hatred are but two separate entities.
Grab hold of that which draws you in the most,
Be forewarned that a price is paid for the atrocities.

In the heat of passion and the wrath of hatred,
There's only one thing that is ever realized.
To love for the moment or loathe for eternity,
Always seems to be somehow compromised.


		Details		4 Comments