a blonde goes to work with both ears bandaged her boss asks what happened to you? "i was ironing my clothes when the phone rang and i accidently answered the iron instead of the phone... that explains one ear the boss says but how about the other?...the blonde says "the guy called back"

little jimmy and susie are talking one day..jimmy pulls a dime out of his pocket...says "haha i have a dime" susie reaches in her's pulls out a quarter..says hahaha i have a quarter.......jimmy digs back in pulls out a marble ..."says haha i have a marble ...susie pulls out two marbles..........jimmy thinks for a second then drops his pants points to his pecker and yells out " ha bet you don't have one of these".......susie drops her pants and points to her vagina and says......."my mommy told me with one of these i can get all of those that i want.................

what does a blonde say after sex.....you guys all on the same team?

a guy walks into a bar  asks the bartender for 5 shots of whiskey the bartender lines up the shots says "what are you celebrating" the guy says i got mt first BJ' ....bartender says great the next shots on me".......guy says thanks but if 5 shots won't get the taste out of my mouth i don't think the 6th will either.

Why do birds fly upside down over Iraq........cuz it aint worth crapping on

why is it when a man tries to talk dirty to a woman it's  sexual harrassment ....but when a women talks dirty to a man it's ...3.99 a minute

A guy walks into a bar see's a horse at the end of the bar with a bag full of money around his neck...sign above the horse says  "make me laugh take my money".....guy whispers in the horses ear and the horse starts laughing like crazy, he takes money and leaves. Next week he walks back in the bar same horse diffrent sign now it says " make me cry take my money" ...guy takes the horse into the back room ,horse comes back out crying like a baby  he takes the money......bar tender asks "hey buddy how did you do that?" guy answers first time told him i had a penis bigger than his...second time i showed him!!!