i'm so fucking sick of life. i'm fucking failing in everything just so i could give a great speech (it's a graduation requirment). i was sapposed to give it 2morro but was just told that it's not good enough and that i have to wait a fucking month. i was looking forward to finally getting something done. finally showing some improvment since the ward. but i guess i'm just a fuckup. why cant i be as good in school as i used 2 be? ever since i can remember i've never gotten anything lower than a B+. not until i fell so deep into depression that i had 2 go 2 the psych ward so i wouldnt fucking drown myself. ever since that, i've been so incredibly behind that it feels so pointless.on top of that, i just found out that my X was cheating on me when we were 2gether. that bastards been trying 2 get back with me since summer, and we've become really close friends and he's been there for me everytime i've needed him. i feel lyk its all been a fucking lie. i just want to fucking strangle him. i've always felt lyk if everything turns upside down and nothings ok anymore, i could count on him to be there for me...to love me. even if we're not 2gether. i fucking hate him. he should just go after that bitch and forget about me. i thought we could always be friends. i mean, i wouldnt care if he did it after we broke up. i dont expect him 2 stay single just because he's obsessed. but he did it while we were 2gether. i guess i'm never fucking good enough. not for him, not in school, not at life.  i should just fucking give up. i'm so fucking tired of running away from shit. but its all i kno how 2 do....i just dont know anymore.