Icancu - Kaneva Profile

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Icancu

Laura Willis

Icancu

Redford,MI

Female

19 Years Old

See More Photos

http://www.kaneva.com/channel/Icancu.people

Fame

Member Since: 1/6/2007
Raves: 60

A huge muscular man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender hands him the beer and says, "You know, I'm not gay but I want to compliment you on your physique, it really is phenomenal! I have a question though, why is your head so small?"

The big guy nods slowly. He's obviously fielded this question many times.

"One day," he begins, "I was hunting when I got lost in the woods. I heard someone crying for help and finally realized that it was coming from a frog sitting next to a stream."

So I picked up the frog and it said, "Kiss me. Kiss me and I will turn into a genie and grant you 3 wishes."

So I looked around to make sure I was alone and gave the frog a kiss. POOF! The frog turned into a beautiful, voluptuous, naked woman.

She said, "You now have 3 wishes."

I looked down at my scrawny 115 pound body and said, "I want a body like Arnold Schwarzenneger."

She nodded, whispered a spell, and POOF! there I was, so huge that I ripped out of my clothes and was standing there naked!

She then asked, "What will be your second wish?"

I looked hungrily at her beautiful body and replied, "I want to make sensuous love with you here by this stream." She nodded, laid down, and beckoned to me. "We then made love for hours!"

Later, as we lay there next to each other, sweating from our glorious lovemaking, she whispered into my ear, "You know, you do have one more wish. What will it be?"

I looked at her and replied, "How about a little head?"


		Details		3 Comments

Jan 12, 2007
Wilma and her husband goes to church

Wilma and her husband Barney go to church every Sunday, and during the service Barney falls asleep. One afternoon Wilma goes to the priest and asks what she can do. The priest hands her a needle and tells her to prick him with it everytime he falls asleep.
The next week at church Barney falls asleep while the priest is talking and when the priest asks who is our savior? Wilma pokes him with the needle and he yells out JESUS!!Soon after that he goes back to sleep. The next question the priest asks is: Who is Jesus's Father? Wilma pokes him with the needle and Barney yells out GOD!!and goes back to sleep. The last question the priest asks is what did Eve say to Adam after he impregnated her for the 99th time? Wilma pricks him with the needle again and he yells:IF YOU POKE THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME I'LL SNAP IT IN HALF AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ARSE!!


		Details		2 Comments

Jan 12, 2007
hilarious pick-up lines.

. I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day.

2. Nice legs...what time do they open?

3. Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.

4. You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?

5. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

6. I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
7. I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher: have you seen one?

8. I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.

9. Want to play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.

10. I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Superdrug, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.

11. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag.

12. I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.

13. Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway to heaven?

14. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

15. Are those real?

16. You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy.

17. I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue.

18. If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.

19. (Look down at your crotch) Well It's not just going to suck itself.

20. You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.

21. You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions?

2
2. F@# me if I'm wrong, but is your name Sherry Titsbottom?

23. Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.

24. My name is (name)...remember that, you'll be screaming it later.

25. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

26. Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.

27. My friend wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.

28. Hi. The voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.

29. My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you want to.

30. I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?

31. If you were the last woman and I was the last man on earth, I bet we could do it in public.

32. Wanna come over for some pizza and sex? No? Why? Don't you like pizza?

33. Baby, I'm an American Express lover...you shouldn't go home without me.

34. Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I???

35. Do you wash your pants in Windex? Because I can see myself in them.

36. I lost my puppy. Can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.

37. (Lick finger and wipe on her shirt) Let's get you out of these wet clothes


		Details		2 Comments

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Comments (39) people commented

countduckula - Switzerland

33 months ago

hi! raved ya...rave me back plz.GREAT PAGE!!! greez from switzerland! :)

nandotche - Monroe,VA

33 months ago

great page, here is one rave to u , come by sometime and take a look at my media, there u can find full simpsons ep. when u there please dont forget to rave me back, lol, thanks

GreGarrius - Riverhead,NY

33 months ago

Join my community FANTASY LOVERS! If you want to get into the virtual world you must rave, comment, join communities, add people to your friends list. The most important thing of all get to know people and continue chatting. Add video, pictures, and music. Rave other peoples media, they will in turn help you as well ! Leave comments that you raved them, let them know so they can rave you back. The more you know, the better ! Do all this and more and who knows you may be invited sooner than you think. Create your own community I will add media to it!

Robertsgirl - Caldwell,ID

33 months ago

I like your man in the bar joke, I gave you a rave. stop by sometime

TonyStewertFan20 - United States

34 months ago

Thank you 4 the rave. Raved ya:)~

tracieaguillon20 - Hillsboro,OR

34 months ago

Hello. Thanx for the rave . Raved ya back:)~

drrichter - Corona,CA

34 months ago

Hey there, hope your having a great day...raved your page. Come on by and return the favor if you get the chance.

caution_danger - Redford,MI

34 months ago

hi raved you rave back

sh_splayer_06 - Sheridan,AR

34 months ago

hey wuts up thanks for the invite rave me if you havent and yea but im not to sure onhow to join lata

becky3000 - United States

34 months ago

Great profile. This deserves my rave ! Could you please rave me back too ? thanks

ang3la - United States

34 months ago

Very nice-raved ya!!

ruckus - Apollo Beach,FL

34 months ago

droppin you a rave. pls rave me back. thx

debbienboo - Leominster,MA

34 months ago

HEY GURL,THX 4 SHOWIN THE LUV!RIGHT BACK AT YA,,,,,,I LIKE YOUR PGE 2,,,,,,,MUCH LUV.......D

FLuSHUnderground - Castro Valley,CA

34 months ago

great page! thanks for the rave! is that your artwork?

noclue222 - Clay,KY

34 months ago

Just returning the rave!! Thanks

deviantfairygurl - Houston,TX

34 months ago

hey! thanks for the rave! i raved you back as well. nice pic by the way!

sunshine45 - Mc Kenzie,TN

34 months ago

cool site and thank you for the rave and for visting mine i rave back at you

Harsh - Marietta,GA

34 months ago

aved you back...

Epiphany - Shiocton,WI

34 months ago

you've been raved. peace

erieduck - Port Clinton,OH

34 months ago

LMAO on ur jokes. very funny

AraelZanz - Harrisburg,PA

34 months ago

Cool page, gave you a rave too. thanks.

narutouzuimake - Cherokee Village,AR

34 months ago

hey raved ya

ALEX01 - Temple,TX

34 months ago

i raved you back

erieduck - Port Clinton,OH

34 months ago

thx 4 the comment and the rave. raved ya back :)

roseryli - Bahamas

34 months ago

hi rave u plz rave me back kool page

miss_holly - Hayden,ID

34 months ago

thanks, i raved ya back. :)

Bass2drumgirlie - Tampa,FL

34 months ago

Haaaaaa:)Your 3 Wishes is REALLY fun;)~~~kewl:)~~~

kimba222 - Johnstown,PA

34 months ago

thanks, i raved ya back. :)

blaqipees - Philadelphia,PA

34 months ago

ur page is nice... u gotta rave. when u get some time, pls visit mine, thx.

Bass2drumgirlie - Tampa,FL

34 months ago

Hey!...justa ravin' ya;)Thx for visiting my page:)Cool!!!~~TTYL~~

bobusmc - Hubert,NC

34 months ago

rave your it hit me back

sweetcandyrain - Jackson,MI

34 months ago

lol@ three wishes

Lasers89 - Redford,MI

34 months ago

I raved you rave me back please thanks

ladydonna3346 - Highland Park,MI

34 months ago

thanks 4 the rave love back at u

prettyandpunk - Valley Springs,SD

34 months ago

thx for the "rave"it was awesome!

TuxedoMask - Tampa,FL

34 months ago

nice profile i rave you and senting you a friend request. have a nice day.

boricua1 - Far Rockaway,NY

34 months ago

hey thanks i raved ya back.

debbienboo - Leominster,MA

34 months ago

HEY GURL,THX 4 THE RAVE,,,,HERES ONE RIGHT BACK......LOL AT THOSE CRAZY PIC UP LINES,,,YOUR FUNNY I LIKE THAT,,,,HOLLA AT ME.......MUCH LUV......D

Tember_ - Issaquah,WA

34 months ago

raved you back! hehe loved the 3 wishes story, too funny girl! come by and visit anytime, and check out my channels while your there :) have a good night

on-web

ALBERTO1981 - Mount Olive,NC

34 months ago

YOU'VE BEEN RAVED.

Sandiesgfish - Marion,AL

34 months ago

thanks for comming bye.i did rave you back.God bless.

Sandiesgfish - Marion,AL

34 months ago

thanks for comming bye.i did rave you back.God bless.

Darkangel1988 - New Castle,PA

34 months ago

Hi and welcome. I raved you so please come by and rave back. I also sent you a friends request. Have a nice day

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